


kyuline | holdfast

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, SHINee, Super Junior
Genre: Gen, Kyuline, The loves of my life, flangst, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: Changmin and Kyuhyun will always be there to keep Minho from breaking apart.





	kyuline | holdfast

Choi Minho sits on the couch in Changmin’s apartment and, as he’d been instructed, takes a few deep, calming breaths. There’s light jazz playing through the sound system, and Minho can hear Kyuhyun and Changmin working in the kitchen. They’re making [dak galbi](https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/dakgalbi), and the hyungs are preparing the ingredients. Changmin has a new tabletop portable grill that he wants to try, thus why they’re all gathered at Changmin’s apartment.

Or that had been the pretext under which they had all gathered.

In reality, it had been One of Those Days for Minho. He’d woken up in a funk that had only worsened as the day had dragged on. The four of them had gone in to talk to the company about their upcoming plans: individual activities, group activities, and… enlistment. Everything is accelerated now, and Minho knows the company is scrambling. He’s grateful for a shorter enlistment period, but he’s also not ready to leave yet.

He also doesn’t want to say any more goodbyes.

He knows these goodbyes won’t be forever, that they’ll be more like _see you laters_ than anything, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to saying those words.

_Goodbye._

None of them have said their official goodbyes yet, and Minho thinks he might not for a long time. After all, he doesn’t have to, does he? If he says goodbye, that makes it all real, and then the gaping hole in his chest will just continue to grow. Yet in those moments when he and the others stand by the window, looking out at the bright moon, it feels like they’re five again, all laughing and smiling together. Kibum will cry, Jinki won’t, and they’ll all hold each other close.

Minho had run into Changmin in the hallway on his way back from the bathroom, and he must have looked as haggard as he’d felt. Changmin had reached out to hug him, and Minho had sagged in his arms.

 _“What are you doing tonight?”_ Changmin had asked.

 _“I have another meeting, but I don’t have any schedules tonight,”_ Minho had replied.

 _“Come over,”_ Changmin had said. _“Kyuhyun’s coming. We’ll feed you.”_

And that had been that.

He’d walked in to Changmin and Kyuhyun sorting through bags of groceries and debating about which sort of alcohol would go best with their dinner. They’d both looked up at his arrival and had immediately stopped to both hug him.

“We’re making dak galbi,” Kyuhyun informs him by way of greeting. “Now that Changmin is a master chef.”

Changmin snorts and goes back to pull a giant head of cabbage out of one of the grocery bags.

Neither of them reference his melancholy, and Minho thinks that’s for the better. They’ve never pestered him for details he hasn’t been ready to share, not with things like this anyways. Minho remembers going out to Kyuhyun’s dorm after the initial shock had worn off and the pain had set in. He hadn’t even said anything; he’d just let Kyuhyun hold him as he’d sobbed. Kyuhyun hadn’t asked any questions, hadn’t forced him to speak. He’d just held him close and handed him tissues as necessary.

Instead, they’d sat him down on the couch, handed him a glass of white wine, and went off discussing how they were going to prepare the meal for the night.

It’s soothing, he thinks. The jazz, the sounds of chopping from the kitchen, and the familiar voices talking about everything and nothing. He sips at his wine and waits patiently for the hyungs to finish dinner preparations.

They carry everything out to Changmin’s dining table. Changmin sets up the tabletop grill, and Kyuhyun sets the large pan piled high with chicken, vegetables, rice cakes, and sauce on top. They task Minho with setting out the plates and cutlery, and Kyuhyun goes back for the wine bottle and glasses. The three of them sit around the table and watch as the dak galbi cooks down, Changmin stirring every so often to ensure that nothing burns.

Kyuhyun talks about his work at the library, and Minho hangs on his every word. He’d never realized all the work that goes into creating audiobooks and how different it is from recording an album. Kyuhyun looks better than he has in a long time, and he tells Minho he feels better too. “Amazing how proper sleep and a normal schedule does that for you,” he says, but Minho knows he’ll be ready to return when the time comes. He misses performing, and Minho misses him too. It’s not the same at SMTOWN shows without him: no strawberry hats, no red dresses, and no getting kissed onstage by his two favorite hyungs in the whole world.

Yet despite all that he knows Kyuhyun is missing, Minho is grateful for the time they’ve been able to spend together. Kyuhyun’s work at the library is the closest thing to a normal day job any of them will ever have, which means he’s home in the evenings and on the weekends… when everyone else is gone. In the months following December, Minho had suddenly found himself with more free time than he’d had in the past decade and as a result had spent a lot of time on Kyuhyun’s couch, watching historical dramas and trying to convince himself that the pain would ease with time.

Changmin talks about preparing for their upcoming Japan tour and compares schedules with Minho. They’ll have a few dates where they overlap, and Minho perks up at the thought of getting to spend the night at Changmin and Yunho’s apartment instead of an impersonal hotel. Plus now that Changmin has learned to cook, it will feel even homier.

His home away from home.

Minho still remembers meeting Changmin for the first time in the old company building, his impressive senior who everyone said he looked like. Minho couldn’t deny the resemblance: they both were tall with big eyes and winning smiles, at least that’s what Yunho had said. Minho had been starstruck, Changmin had been awkward, but somehow they’d become friends. It had been later when Changmin had invited him along to one of his and Kyuhyun’s alcoholic dinners that the official Kyuline had been formed.

He’d been grateful for how Changmin and Kyuhyun had taken care of him back then as scary seniors, already so successful in the industry, and how they take care of him now, as hyungs looking out for him always.

 _“Minho-yah,”_ Changmin had said in the weeks after December, _“I know that you’re being strong for a lot of people right now, and that’s good. But when you’re here, let Kyuhyunnie and I be strong for you.”_

It had been hard to switch at first. Minho had been the protector of those he loves the most for so long that he had forgotten how to let someone else protect him. He’d spent so many years hiding his struggles as to not worry his parents, caring for the members to give them strength, and helping everyone around him live their best lives, and yet…

And yet as he sits in Changmin’s apartment being cooked for, Minho finally lets himself relax a little more and bask in their care and concern.

They finish dinner by talking about Minho’s upcoming film. Kyuhyun and Changmin already have tickets, of course, and they both claim to be bringing dates. Minho just rolls his eyes; he’s heard this before, and each time they end up just bringing each other. He’s excited about the film’s premiere and hopes it does well, and the hyungs ensure him that it will.

“I’d like to be in a movie someday,” Kyuhyun muses.

“Was _Attack on the Pinup Boys_ not enough?” Changmin asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Minho cleans the pan of any leftover chicken while Kyuhyun squawks about how he wasn’t actually in that film (“I was in a _coma_!”) and Changmin snickers. They’re still bickering about the whole thing as they tidy up the kitchen. They crash on the couch to scroll through the late-night television options, and Changmin falls asleep before they even hit the first commercial break, his cheek pressed against Minho’s shoulder. Kyuhyun falls asleep fairly soon after, and Minho chuckles to himself. He’ll tease them about being old tomorrow, but for now, it feels nice. It reminds him of being a child after a nightmare, running to his parents’ room to crawl in bed between them, using them to ward off the scary images.

Some days, this feels like a nightmare that he can’t seem to wake up from, but knowing that Changmin and Kyuhyun are there, on either side of him, keeping him safe, makes it all a bit more bearable.

After all, they’d been the first to call him when they heard the news, expressing their sympathies and bringing him his suit so he wouldn’t have to stop at home before meeting with the other members. Kyuhyun had been the one checking in on him after the funeral, bringing him food and sitting with him as he pushed it around the plate. Changmin had been the one to drive him to the therapist’s office, the same therapist Changmin had met with years ago, and the one to sit with him in the parking lot for an hour as he mustered up the strength to go in. These two had been the ones to show up for him every single day since that terrible day in December, giving him strength each and every day.

The moon shines brightly through the windows that they’d forgotten to shut before starting the movie. Minho gently extricates himself from his sleeping hyungs and walks over to see the moon reflecting off of the buildings and river below. He feels his eyes start to water as he thinks about Jonghyun, the past, the present, and the future, and smiles through his tears. This isn’t how he’d imagined things happening; it’s not how any of them imagined things happening.

Minho presses his palm against the window and stares up at the moon, looking for the words to say. He feels Changmin come up behind him and slide his arm around Minho’s shoulders, and it’s not long before Kyuhyun appears on his other side, arm around his waist. They stand there for a long time, watching the moon rise higher into the sky.

“Goodnight,” Minho whispers, finally lowering his hand from the glass. He doesn’t even try to blink back his tears, and they roll down his cheek. The hyungs hold him close, and Minho relaxes into their arms.

It’s been a long day, and he’s finally ready to get some sleep. Changmin sets him up on the couch while he and Kyuhyun stumble off to Changmin’s room, their usual sleeping arrangement. Minho doesn’t mind: Changmin sleep-punches, Kyuhyun snores, and the couch does neither. He falls asleep with the moon shining on his face and hopes that tomorrow will be a better day.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments are love ♡
> 
> Recipe is from [Maangchi](https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/dakgalbi)


End file.
